Monday, November 5, 2007


By NanceGreggs

Is It Really THAT Bad?

Yeah, I know – I know! It seems we have a lot to complain about. But are things really as bad as they seem?

So what if toys full of lead and other contaminants are allowed to be sold in our country? The worst that could happen is thousands of kids will grow up with brain-damage, which means they’ll vote for Republicans when they grow up, which means allowing more lead-based toys to be sold to their kids, which means a lot of kids will never be smart enough to recognize how dumb their parents actually were.

So what if the current administration’s policies are fostering hatred against Americans around the world? That just means future generations won’t have to ask Who’s with us and who’s against us, because the answer will be clear: Everyone is against us. That will really cut down on having to comb the earth for countries that will participate in any Coalition of the Willing the next time we decide to invade a country for their oil – we’ll know from the get-go that we’re strictly on our own.

So what if we wind up having only talking heads on TV, and no actual journalists willing to investigate the truth and tell it like it is? Don’t you look forward to hearing how well things are still going in Iraq ten years from now, instead of seeing that 10,000 US Troops Now Dead headline on the bottom-screen crawl? Besides, that insurgency has got to be in its last throes sometime in the next century.

So what if the government declares anyone they don’t approve of as enemy combatants, and hauls them off to the newly opened Gitmo VII? At least when the TV announcer says, ”It’s eleven o’clock, do you know where your children are?”, you can honestly say that you know where they are.

So what if the Constitution winds up being disposed of after being declared a piece of subversive literature? That will free up display space at the National Archives for a copy of The Pet Goat, complete with photo-shopped pictures of G.W. Bush rushing to action upon hearing that the country is under attack.

So what if we lose a city to natural disaster? Come on, we’re a big country – can’t we afford to lose a couple of cities now and then? Besides, who’s going to live in those already-paid-for contaminated FEMA trailers if we don’t let a hurricane or a flood render tens of thousands of citizens homeless every now and again?

So what if the country continues to outsource American jobs to cheaper labor markets? It just means more leisure time for out-of-work Americans – not to mention the fact that with less commuters on the highways and byways, we won’t have to waste tax dollars maintaining roads and bridges that won’t be used as frequently as they are now.

So what if your kids are getting a lousy education thanks to programs like No Child Left Behind? It’s not like there are going to be any jobs left that call for an education anyway – unless they are smart enough to apply for a passport, in which case they can move to the countries all the American jobs have gone to.

So what if the president is an incoherent idiot, and the VP can’t doesn’t know the difference between Venezuela and Peru? Do you really want the late-night show monologue writers to have to scramble for laugh-worthy material, night after night?

So what if the president’s entire tenure in office is based on photo-ops, smoke ‘n mirrors, props, sets and costumes? Are you prejudiced against illusionists? Don’t like magic shows? Never been dazzled by watching an elephant disappear right before your eyes?

So what if the national debt is rising to unprecedented heights, accruing interest on a daily basis? What did your grandchildren ever do for you? Let them worry about it.

So what if you can’t afford decent health care coverage for yourself and your family? A smaller population due to deaths caused by lack of health care means more time for insurance companies to find ways to disallow the benefits of the hangers-on who are still alive.

So what if e-coli is contaminating everything from hamburgers to pizza toppings? Are you too much of a wuss to try new food products? Wouldn't your ever-shrinking paycheck go a lot further if you had less family members to support? Are you some kind of communist who thinks the government should keep your food safe, when you can easily buy your own chemical testing lab on-line for only $7,400,083,002?

So what if the entire country is going down the toilet? There are many cleaning products from China (containing lead and other lethal chemicals) that will keep that toilet sparklin’ – and they’re on sale now at your favorite flag-waving, fightin’ the War-on-Christmas, union-bustin’, good-for-America discount store!

Really, people - so what?

Posted in full with author's permission.

Originally posted in

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