No matter which of our fine candidates winds up being the nominee, let’s keep in mind the current POTUS – and remember that there’s nowhere to go but UP:
None of the Democratic candidates have ever attempted to find oil in Texas – and failed!
None of the Democratic candidates laugh or giggle when they talk about things like people dying – or the possibility of World War III!
None of the Democratic candidates comes back from a vacation with bruises, scratches – or any other injuries associated with having been falling-down-drunk while they were away!
All of the Democratic candidates know that the earth is more than six thousand years old – and round!
All of the Democratic candidates can pronounce the names of foreign countries – without having to have them written out phonetically!
None of the Democratic candidates have ever been AWOL from military duty – and had to have their records ‘go missing’ in order to cover it up!
None of the Democratic candidates are universally recognized for their famous smirk – nor have any of them been scientifically scrutinized for their uncanny resemblance to lower primates!
All of the Democratic candidates can articulately respond to questions on the issues – and without electronic devices hidden in their jackets!
All of the Democratic candidates are fully cognizant of the Constitution – and are actually intellectually capable of reading it all by themselves!
None of the Democratic candidates rely on people like Bill Kristol for advice – or his uncanny ability to accurately predict the future!
None of the Democratic candidates have had move heaven and earth in order to hide their relationship with people like Jack Abramoff – or Jeff Gannon!
None of the Democratic candidates are the least bit interested in how The Pet Goat ended – and wouldn’t use an attack on US soil as the appropriate time to find out!
All of the Democratic candidates know the difference between a deficit and a surplus – and they don’t have to take off their shoes in order to count as high as twenty!
All of the Democratic candidates are willing and able to swear to uphold the Constitution – and none of them will have to cross their fingers behind their back when they do so!
All of the Democratic candidates are capable of being duly elected – and won’t have to rely on their daddy’s buddies on the Supreme Court to select them!
Good luck to all of our fine candidates – all of whom are actually capable of leading our nation, as opposed to the Idiot who’s been in charge for the last seven years!
Posted in full with author's permission.
Originally posted at democraticunderground.com: http://journals.democraticunderground.com/NanceGreggs/327