Monday, December 3, 2007

Hey, Who Knew!?!

By NanceGreggs

While the list of things-gone-wrong during the Bush administration is lengthy indeed, you have to admit that a lot of mis-steps merely come down to a matter of hey, who knew?

Hey, who knew that if we invaded Iraq, destroyed the country, killed over a million people, and re-opened Abu Ghraib under new management, the Iraqis might be less than gracious hosts?

Hey, who knew that a war promoted as paying for itself and lasting only a matter of months would wind up bankrupting the treasury and becoming a years-long quagmire?

Hey, who knew that an idiotic, make-believe cowboy who’d failed at every business venture he’d ever been involved in would turn out to be an idiotic, make-believe president who’d fail at every aspect of running a country?

You get the drift. And the past week has been fertile ground (or a minefield, depending on your political persuasion) of who knews cropping up like so much crabgrass on the political landscape.

Hey, who knew that once Karl Rove started opening his big fat mouth on radio and TV, he’d plant his piggy hoof firmly in his pie-hole this soon out of the gate? And hey, who knew that it was Tom Daschle and those warmongering Dems who put a gun to a reluctant George Bush’s head when it came to getting us involved in Iraq ASAP?

Hey, who knew that Rudy Giuliani’s expenditure of city monies and resources on his mistress would ever surface, especially after he’d so carefully hidden same by spreading them around obscure NYC departments? Hey, who knew that the great white-bread hope of the Republicans would wind up being toast?

Hey, who knew that Fred Thompson, a man who became a GOP legend years ago for his laziness, would wind up running so lackluster a campaign that even his fellow party members are expressing their regrets for having supported him in the first place? And hey, who knew that not only is he NOT a convincing presidential candidate, he obviously can’t even play one on TV?

Hey, who knew that Tom Tancredo would fare so poorly in the polls, after rallying the masses with his Let’s-Nuke-Muslim-Holy-Sites program to ensure peace in the Middle East? And hey, who knew Ron Paul wouldn’t come off as the only nutcase in the GOP line-up, thanks to Tom?

Hey, who knew that Larry “I-Am-So-NOT-Gay” Craig’s former sex partners (all of whom ARE gay) would come out of the woodwork to set the record straight … or decidedly not straight as the case may be?

Hey, who knew that, according to WH spokes-hairdo Dana Perrino, being in the briefing room is an honor and a privilege rather than a matter of doing one’s job as a journalist? And hey, who knew that veteran journalist Helen Thomas would, with a few well-chosen words, smack down a clueless nitwit wannabe within seconds?

Hey, who knew that newly-appointed Attorney General Mukasey would launch a lawsuit against the NY State Board of Elections, demanding that New York State introduce uncertified touch-screen voting machines? Who knew that he would immediately use his new position to ensure that justice is never done, in the same way his predecessor did?

Hey, who knew that the MSM would totally ignore Scottie McClelland’s inference that the WH was directly involved in the outing of Valerie Plame? And hey, who knew they’d cover new developments in the Natalie Holloway case instead?

Hey, who knew that the political polarization of Americans is, according to David Gregory, due to the internet? Like many, I’d always thought it was the Republicans calling Democrats unpatriotic terrorist-appeasers who were hoping for defeat in Iraq and a takeover of the nation by crazed Islamofascists (whatever that’s supposed to mean). Turns out it was just those wacky people intent on over-burdening a series of tubes all along – hey, who knew?

Yesiree, it’s been a week chock full o’ interesting tidbits – and one can only wonder what startling revelations will cause the brain-dead to stand up and yell "Hey, who knew?" by this time next week.

So be sure to stay tuned to your local website, and don’t fret about the writers’ strike impacting your ability to get the best of the news stories – because even the most creative of writers couldn’t make this shit up.

Posted in full with author's permission.

Originally posted at

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